M A L E V O L E N C E

"I don't mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that's how it comes out." (Bill Hicks)

here's my list...

• people who think that being "sorry" for something should negate it's effect
• conversations that start with "To be honest with you--"
• when people open a conversation by asking "can i ask you a question?"
• governments that run a deficit
• the ludicrous salary difference between a person who actually contributes to humankind and people in the entertainment industry (sports, movies, music)
• advertising
• people who stop in the merge lane
• people who ask their friends what they should do about EVERY minor situation that arises
• people who think Family Guy isn't funny
• people who justify owning a gun with "it my contitutional right - it protect me from the gubment" (you'll usually notice they have a hard time forming sentences) guess what? a gun won't protect you from the "gubment"
• mindless microsoft bashing - believe it or not, they can't be blamed for world hunger
• new linux users - and their zealous quest to let everybody know that they use linux and microsoft products suck
• parents who will stop at nothing to shield their children from the eventual truths of life
• the fact that male is part of the word MALEvolence
• when you're waiting for the light to change on a street corner, and the person next to you has bigger balls than you do and crosses. Then you're left there feeling like a serious traffic pussy
• how the "Friends" ALWAYS get the couch
• people who say, "Winning isn't everything"
• couples that work out together
• the question, "Hot enough out there for ya?"
• those really thick advertisements and subscription squares in magazines that make it hard to turn the pages
• the toothpaste speckles you make on the bathroom mirror when you brush your teeth
• how most of the time pressing the "door close" button in an elevator doesn't actually make the doors close any faster
• how the word "esoteric" is esoteric
• the "cool-down" lap
• exes who remain friends

 

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